The Day America Almost Fell To Its Knees

It wasn’t a dark and dreary day, in fact it was quite the opposite. Thousands had gathered at Reliant Stadium in Houston Texas to watch Tom Brady and the New England Patriots take on the upstart Carolina Panthers. Upwards to a billion watched the battle on their TV’s at home. Billions of gallons of bubble was guzzled by pot-bellied fans who barely knew a game was taking place. At half time the score was 14 to 10 in favor of the Patriots. At the stadium the half-time show was about to begin. For the fans at home, especially for the women this was the highlight of the day: Janet Jackson was about to do a duet with Justin Timberlake. Everything was going swimmingly when the unthinkable happened. Justin reached over and pulled off the flimsy scarf that was covering Janet’s breasts. Suddenly a big brown tit with nipple barely covered by a fancy pasty was exposed to the world.

At the stadium, the stage was too far away for the fans to be sure if what they saw was real or not, but in the millions of homes who were glued to the TV set, panic set in. Mother’s rushed to cover their children’s eyes else their moral character be destroyed beyond repair. Over the following weeks the horrific event was discussed on the news media and at the dinner table. Could this be the end of America as a moral leader. Timberlake and Jackson tried to weasel out of the sinful display, saying it was a wardrobe malfunction, neither performer approved of what happened. But over the months that followed the execs who were in charge of putting on the show, promised the country that something that disgusting would never happen again and it never did. The Superbowl was about families and tits are not about family. America went on its happy way guzzling beer and killing thousands of infidels in the middle east while sacrificing thousands of its own to achieve this noble goal and inexplicably paying millions of dollars to buy magazines that show tits but the thought of that ugly brown tit faded into the past and all was right again.

janet 2

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